My present on my daughter’s birthday!

It is Saturday and I missed my Monday blog entry!  We were in Omaha for my daughter’s 11^th birthday and taking a mini vacation of sorts getting school clothes and supplies and spending time with relatives.  It’s always busy when we visit.  There are so many places to go and people to see that we get caught up in moments and time just seems to slip away while we are there. 

 

My daughter loves visiting and wants to move back every time we visit.  Then we come home to 10 acres of nature and all her animals.  Yes, she changes her mind and decides that we can have both.  This trip was especially interesting since we bought her school supplies and of course had that all too often discussion about idolizing Hannah Montana! 

 

One of the most important concepts that I can share with parents is picking and choosing the battles and staying the course.  Allow me to explain.  I have been having the Hannah discussion with my daughter for a year now.  Explaining how Hollywood isn’t real life and the importance of finding role models that are really making a difference in other peoples lives and becoming a role model yourself by being who you really are and standing up for what’s right in the world.  Also explaining the Disney machine and how the corporation is just riding the wave for as long as the wave goes on. 

 

Not an easy concept for a 10, now 11 year old, but she is beginning to understand as we walk through a store and find anything and everything that has Hannah on it priced higher than the same item that doesn’t.  It helps that she makes an allowance and can buy her own things.  And it helps that I teach her the amount of money she spends on Hannah versus non Hannah items.  I simply tell her the price differences. For example, a Hannah folder is 84 cents; a plain red folder is 34 cents; she needs five ~ She has $10 to spend and $5.80 left over if she buys Hannah folders and $8.30 left over if the plain red folders will do.

 

I must say that I was a little discouraged that the Disney machine won out when she decided to buy Hannah folders and notebooks.  But again, we keep teaching as parents and hope that the message is received.  We all know the feeling of disappointment when our children make choices that we know aren’t the best, but just as we did, they have to learn life lessons on their own for the message to finally hit home. 

 

Our children are listening and taking in everything even when we don’t think they are.  All our discussions and letting her have the final choice on the matter paid off.  She was listening and it’s these moments where we as parents are assured that in spite of a little frustration along the way, when push comes to shove, they will make a good decision based upon the information we provide them. 

 

My daughter stayed up late on the night before her birthday and was supposedly on webkinz world playing with her new dragon webkinz.  She did play with the dragon, but she also looked up Hannah on the internet and found the questionable pictures of her that have been in the news lately.  She was very upset and told me right after she woke up on her birthday that Hannah wasn’t quite what she thought she was.  She also decided that she wanted to take back her Hannah folders and notebooks because she didn’t like the pictures she found on the internet.  She cried and sat on my lap and told me I was right.  WOW, that was a tough thing for her to do.  Telling mom that she was right all along!   (YEA ME!!)

 

I told her that I was proud of her and the decision she made to take the Hannah stuff back since I knew it was a difficult decision for her.  I also told her that I knew she would make the right decision when she was ready to.  I explained that those pictures had been on the internet for quite a while, but I didn’t think she needed to see them.  She asked me why Hannah would take pictures of herself and put them on the internet.  I explained that we don’t really know who put the pictures out there, but once something is on the internet, it stays on the internet ~ an important lesson for everyone to learn!   

 

So in the end, she did listen and learn on her own that there are more important things in the world to be focusing on instead of her former idol Hannah.  We all wanted to be rock stars when we were young.  I remember standing in front of the mirror with a brush pretending that I was on stage rocking out!  I would bet you did too!  We all can’t be rock stars on the stage making music, but we are the rock stars of our own lives.  I like to teach my children to soar with their strengths and keep dreaming of tomorrow.  They are already rock stars in their own right, and so are your kids. 

 

Namaste! 

School is almost here – my back to school tips

As an ADHD Coach and mother of two ADHD children, back to school time poses some additional steps to ease the “summer’s over” transition.  ADHD children have been known to have difficulty with transitions and my children are no exception.  My 11 year old daughter will be in fifth grade and my 7 year old son will be in second.  Here are my top ‘must do’s’ to help them and me start the school year off successfully.

 

 

Write a letter to your child’s teachers

Write a letter to your child’s teacher introducing your child, his/her strengths, and weaknesses with tips that have worked at home or last year.  Provide a way for the teacher to communicate with you as necessary.  I email my children’s teacher as needed to communicate things that happen at home that may impact their school day.  Important:  Password protect your email ~ I learned this one the hard way last year!!!   I also like to provide ADHD information as well to ensure the teacher is aware of your child’s special traits.  CHADD has some wonderful information to impart that can be found at their site:  www.chadd.org

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Practice run their school schedule

Try to get a copy of your child’s daily schedule to begin reviewing and walking through with them before school starts.  I set a timer and let them know what they are doing next or where they need to go.  We practice re packing our backpack to be ready for changing classrooms.  We keep a calendar for school activities, before/after school activities, and special events in a location they can access anytime.  

 

Communicate with the school nurse

Write out your child’s medical information, allergies, medication, common complaints, and possible remedies that have worked in the past.  For example, my daughter seems to feel sick to her stomach more when the weather is cold and it is time for recess.   My son on the other hand could be bleeding profusely and not want a band aid. 

 

Devise a homework plan

Discuss with your children their homework plan.  Let them make some decisions about when, where, and how they plan to get it done.  Allowing them to make decisions will help them feel more empowered to accomplish their goal.  I use a calendar with stickers that they get to pick out once their homework is done.  If they don’t have homework, they get a sticker anyway, and when the month is up hang the sticker filled calendar where they can see it in their homework spot.  

 

Re read their IEP/504 plan

Review their IEP/504 plan before school starts to see if they met their goals, what goals may need some improvement, and begin thinking about what goals may be needed this year.  Schedule a meeting with your child’s school support team to strategize on how they can be successful this coming year.  Include your child if it’s appropriate and the team agrees.

 

Review social norms

Role play social situations that you child will encounter in school.  Ask them questions about they will handle common situations; get them thinking now about how to react.  I like to role play situations that they have talked to me about last school year.  We also review how to make and treat friends.   A couple of questions I ask my 10 year old daughter are: What will you do if your friend is sitting with other friends at lunch?   How will you handle yourself if you ask to sit with them and they say no or there isn’t room?  What will you do if the teacher calls on you and you don’t have the answer?  What if you do have the answer and the teacher doesn’t call on you?  What will you do if the boys tease you about your new haircut?  It’s difficult, but don’t give them the answers, guide them to finding an appropriate solution. 

 

Create an organized area for papers coming home

There are plenty of papers that will be coming home, so prepare now for the deluge.  We one spot in our home for all papers and we file them in order of importance; papers that mom needs to read now, homework papers that we can go over anytime, and those we need to discuss that night.  Papers they are proud of go directly to the refrigerator for the week.  When the week is done, we file them and keep them as reminders of what we can accomplish when we have those difficult days. 

 

Buy extra supplies

Save yourself time later and buy extra supplies now. I like to keep pencils, erasers, markers, and red pens on hand for when they loose the ones they have at school. All the labeling in the world isn’t going to stop them from getting lost!  A locker organizer is a must have for my daughter!  And a superman/batman pencil does wonders for helping my son get his math done!

 

The impending school year can be stressful for many of our ADHD children, so anything we can do to help them transition and be successful benefits you and them in the long run.  Remember to celebrate successes, ask for help when you need it, take care of you and have a great start back to school! 

 

 

 

  

The Rodeo Weekend!

Another blog from 6/16:

 

My 10 year old daughter had a tough weekend and mommy coaching was needed to help her see her way through.  There was a rodeo in a town close to us and my daughter was very excited that she and her dad (the horse lovers in our family) were going to go.  We own horses and my husband trains and shoes them for a hobby.  My daughter loves her horse and spends as much time as she can learning from her dad about horses. 

 

My son on the other hand is not interested in the horses much at all; every once and a while I will catch him petting them, but he does not ride nor take care of them. He had decided that he did not want to go to the rodeo; he wanted to stay home with mom and go swimming.  So our Friday night was planned and everything was great up until the moment right before dinner when my son announced that he had changed his mind and did want to go to see the bulls at the rodeo.  Holy moley guacamole!  My daughter immediately started to seriously melt down! 

 

She proceeded to follow my son around ranting and raving that he did not like horses as much as she did and that she was daddys girl, and he was mommys boy and that she was going to spend quality time with her dad while he stayed home with mom, and so on and so on…Of course my son tried to fight back with his own type of logic, that her dad was his dad and they both could spend time with him, etc… But she was having none of it.  She did not let up on him until I finally chimed in that we were all going to go to the rodeo and that we could all have fun as a family together – end of story.  Then she promptly went to her room to cry it out. 

 

I figured that after she had a good cry, she would feel a little better and accept that we were all going.  I went to her room to call her for dinner and she announced that she was no t hungry and did not want to go to the rodeo after all. Now, the mommy me wanted to tell her to get her little butt up out of that bed and deal with it since it was not that big of a deal.  After all, I had a nice calm night planned reading by my pond, I am not into the horse stuff, and the rodeo was the last place I wanted to spend my Friday night!! 

 

But coach me asked her what she was feeling right at that moment.  After some questioning, she admitted that she was jealous and had planned the night out at the rodeo with just her dad.  So I asked her to tell me how her night was going to go with just her dad.  She explained that they would go talk to the cowboys since her dad knew many of them, and that she would be the center of attention. Then I asked her how the night would be changed if her brother and I went with them.  She explained that her brother would act out and end up needing more attention because of his hyper behavior.  Wow.  That was big coming from a 10 year old! 

 

I was pretty torn as to what to do next.  I hated to see her disappointed, and I also hated disappointing my son if I told him that he and I were going to stay home.  But I also knew that she was most likely right with her assessment of her brother. The excitement of the events surrounding the rodeo would most likely make him more hyper and we would end up garnering more attention towards him in order to help him be calm.  My ADD mind was in full gear searching for a win-win outcome. 

 

Quickly I pulled my husband aside and explained the situation and we came up with a viable solution.  At dinner my husband asked my daughter if she could go with him to the back area to see some of the horses that were taking part in the rodeo.  Of course my son popped up and asked if he could go, but daddy told him that he needed to stay and watch over mommy since she didn’t know anything about rodeos and it could be dangerous for her to be alone.  J  And just like that, the impending doom of the evening was averted.    

 

The evening worked out fine.  My son was more hyper with all the activity, but my daughter happy to have her daddy to herself checking out horses and talking to rodeo cowboys.  I enjoyed the time distracting my son and engaging him in discussions about what the cowboys were doing throughout the night.  (Yes I did have to make stuff up at times!!)  But I still have to say that rodeos are really not my cup of tea and I just might have faired better with a book by the pond and a disappointed son in the pool!!!

  

Being a parent is by far the toughest job I have ever had and I don’t always get it right.  Many times I reflect back on situations and feel that I could have handled it differently. But the facts are that I did not, so I choose to learn from those moments, move on, and know what not to do next time. 

 

Namaste!

 

Expo – Part II

Happy Thursday!

 

Yesterday, I wrote about the attendees I met at the Health Expo, so today I will write about the people working the Expo.  I met some wonderful people!  

 

The first people I met were the nocirc.com (no circumcision) group who happened to have the booth right next to mine.  Needless to say, watching people read their sign was very interesting.  There was one woman I met there named Linda who was truly a wonderful person.  She was volunteering her time for the group, which is pretty awesome considering she was there all weekend.  The most interesting thing I learned was that Elvis was not circumcised.  Who knew!  Of course, my ADD mind had to ask how they knew that Elvis was not circumcised, and Linda told me that it was on his death certificate.  So know we know

 

John is a medical intuitive who scanned me while we were talking and told me that I had some liver issue, he asked me if I was hypoglycemic.  The interesting thing is that I had a MRI on my liver last month.  So, take that for what it’s worth.  Personally, I do believe that there are some people who vibrate at a different level.  John is certainly one of them. 

 

There were multiple people selling juices.  There were energy juices, vitamin juices, and cleansing juices.  I wondered what would happen to someone who stopped at every booth and tried all of them.  I would bet they were flying high!  There were a few juice sellers who wanted me to try their juice since it helped with ADHD.  It was difficult to determine what was what, since there are so many products in the health and wellness market right now.  I do like to fully check things out before I try them and I would never let the kids try anything unless I did it first.  

 

Other “helpers” for ADHD were chiropractic clinics.  I had one ask me if I would be able to come to their clinic and speak to parents about ADHD.  They are holistic and anti vaccination and medication type people.  I am pretty open to anything that works.  Since I haven’t tried it, I will assume that it works for some.  I won’t recommend anything I personally haven’t tried.  I will go and speak to their parents about ADHD and coaching.  

 

Another booth was a family newsletter/magazine that approached me to write an article about ADHD and parenting.  I am very excited about this one.  I love to write and empower others with strategies that help ADHD kids. 

 

I met a massage therapist who also wanted to partner up and refer back and forth.  I tried the massage table that they offered at their clinic, and I must say, without the distraction of the expo, it would be very nice indeed!  

 

A therapist also spoke to me about referring back and forth, which is always handy.  Since there is some confusion about therapy and coaching, it would be great to have another therapist to partner with when clients need more therapy rather than coaching.  

 

I also spoke to a rehabilitation place who was interested in ADHD coaching training.  They have experienced people in rehab that were also ADHD, and they felt some additional training was in order.  I couldn’t agree with them more.  There are plenty of addictions that go along with ADHD.  

 

I met a few other coaches, and they were very pleasant.  LisaKay Smith is a great person and she does relationship coaching and women specific coaching.  I would recommend her to my friends! 

 

Two other booths that were there are places that offer products and services that I equally enjoy.  The OM Center in downtown Omaha, and The Next Millennium.  The OM Center is a great place for relaxation and centering.  The back room is so full of positive energy, you never want to leave.  The Next Millennium is out west @ 93^rd & Maple also in Omaha and they have plenty of metaphysical products to choose from.  I always visit when I am in town! 

 

There were more people that I visited with, but the above were some of the highlights available for partnering up with other local “healers”. 

 

That’s it for today!

 

Namaste!

 

 

Can’t wait for summer!!! Thanks to the cat for the silence.

There is a mouse in my house.  Hate to Dr Seuss it, but there is!  And this mouse is loud!  The noise is coming from the kitchen.  I have no idea where the mouse is.  I swear I have stopped working and gone in there several times all to no avail.  I can’t find where the little SH$# is hiding!  Which actually isn’t all that bad…

The distraction is enough to make me crazy.  Especially when I stop working, go in the kitchen, look up and down, can’t find a thing, then go back to my office to work.   It is quiet for a few minutes, then a crackle noise.  Loud enough to make me stop and listen.  (and question my sanity) 

Finally, I have had enough!  I take a little walk to the barn, and grab my best barn cat.  This cat is a mouse killing machine!!!!  I brought her up to the house, and she went right for the kitchen.  And mind you, I am highly allergic to cats!  When I was tested, I came out a  4+++ on the scale.  That’s gotta clue you into how much this mouse was aggravating me. 

Distractions aren’t good for us adders.  It is too easy for us to loose our train of thought, forget where we were and what we were doing, and space off something important all because of a distraction.  The mouse making noise prevented me from working for about an hour.  After I had gone and looked for it so many times, I had finally determined that I was not going to let it bother me anymore.  I was just going to work through it and set some traps tonight.  

Yeah right!  Not this add mind.  This add mind was working and coming up with a solution at the same time.  Multitasking I think it is called.  But can we really do two things at once?  Yes, but not and be “present” to both things.  Sure I was working, but my mind was really working on how to silence that mouse.  That one little mouse was enough to make me crazy.  Yes we adders are easily distracted. 

I took a shot of benedryl, and the cat is still hunting in the kitchen.  I guess I should have prefaced this whole blog with we live on a ranch/farm in the middle of corn fields.  Mice are going to get into my house no matter what I do to prevent them.  Believe me, I have tried everything.  In my mind, mice in your house is so not cool.  I hate them.  But after moving to the country, I resolved that it is going to happen, and I will deal with whatever. 

Funny story about mice from my son.  My mother is an old farm girl, and she and her aunt told me to get poison because that is the only thing that will get them in the country.  They said that there are too many, and there isn’t enough places for them to go since there aren’t any other house for miles.  So, I did what they suggested.  I never balk as the wisdom of the elders.  They have most likely been through it all already, so why re invent the wheel when simply asking them takes so little time and effort. 

Anyway, I sort of wasn’t prepared for the consequence of my actions.  I guess I never thought about what happened after the mice ate the poison.  I think in my mind, I was thinking that they were going outside to die; but they didn’t…..  And I really didn’t want to know just how many mice were gallivanting around my house when I wasn’t looking…but I do… 

And for the funny part of the whole mouse story, my son (7 years) apparently saw a dead mouse in my bedroom and didn’t tell me about it.  I freaked of course when I saw it, and then he told me that it had been there for a few nights and he thought it would be funny to scare me.  Isn’t he sweet?!?!?    I just love that little guy!!…..!!~   

YEAH, I wouldn’t trade him for the world!!

NAMASTE!! 

April Fools! They are so cute when they try to get you!!

Today is April Fools Day.  I always wondered just where did this day come from and why?   My children spent the morning telling me that ghosts were behind me, they really didn’t have school today, and there were snakes in the bath tub.   Of course the snake one almost got me, after all living in the country, anything is possible!!   But I thought it was so cute how they tried.   At the same time, I felt sorry for their teachers.  I can’t imagine listening to the non stop “April Fools” jokes all day. 

I have a high degree of respect for teachers.  They have such an impact on these kids.  I often wonder if they fall into the attitudes of so many other jobs.  Like do they say, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow?  Or look at the clock all day calculating how long until they get to go home?  I have to think they probably do, even though I don’t want them to think that way. 

I want teachers to want to be there teaching these kids.  I want teachers to enjoy coming to work and not look at the clock once while they are there to calculate their off time.  I want them to love my kids as much as I do.  (Yes, unrealistic as it is, I still want it!)  I want them to be positive all the time and never make kids feel bad.  (unless they deserve it) 

I went to Catholic school when I was young, and I still remember being afraid of the nuns wearing the “black costumes”.  (Yes I know that ages me!!)  They were scary!  I remember getting the ruler on the hand slap in second grade, couldn’t even tell you what I did to get that.  The nuns were tough!  You didn’t mess with them, most of the time, you kept your head down for fear of them sighting you.   My kids would get the crap beat out of them!!!!!  The nuns would have a heyday!

I sometimes wonder if my kids have it harder with an ADD mom.  One one hand, I would be the first to break the rules.  Like letting my daughter use a calculator for her math homework.  Is that bad?  In my mind, I think that as long as she knows how to do it, what’s the difference?  If there are tools to help us get the job done, then why can’t children use them too?  But on the other hand, I also understand how their little minds work.  So when they act out and use the “my medicine wore off” excuse, I totally bust them and don’t let them off the hook.   I have to remind them that I have ADD too, and that doesn’t give me the ”free pass” to break the law!  (That one did come back to haunt me when I got a speeding ticket with them in the car!)   

Then there are days where my disorganization is a distraction to them.  Like when I get up late (which happens more often than I care to admit!) and we have to rush to get ready for the bus.  They often go on tirades about how much they hate me, and how much I don’t love them cause I am yelling at them to hurry up.  And I know that I shouldn’t yell at them cause it just elevates the situation, but crap before coffee ~ anything goes!!   

So maybe having an ADD mom, they live April Fools every day and they don’t even know it!   I think when they get home today and start in with their jokes, I am going to smile and think about how the joke is actually on them!   Out of all the mothers in the world, they had to get me!!!  Poor little sh#%s!

APRIL FOOLS!!!! 

Namaste!

Holy Crap! I have ADD too!

So I have two children and a husband with ADD/ADHD.  I wondered sometimes just how I had hit the motherload of ADD??  I studied the various medicine, alternatives, strategies, and support stuff.  I read up on how their lives would be effected.  I read about the horror stories of school aged kids and what the “system” has put them through.  I experienced my own children being placed at their own separate desks and not allowed to sit with the rest of the group.   I am not sure, but that action by my childrens teachers seems quite discriminatory.  But alas, I digress. 

So back in 2005 I decided to start my own business after much discontent with a corproate career.  I started life coaching and helping others find their dreams and change their lives.   Then in 2007, I decided to move into another coaching field, ADD/ADHD coaching.  At the time I figured that with the kids and my hubby being ADD/ADHD, it would be a natural progression and I have much experience in that universe.  So I join a coach training program late in 2007 and discover that there is so much to ADD/ADHD that I never knew about.  Like for instance, I HAVE ADD TOO!!! 

I find it unbelievable that I have a 10 year old daughter with ADD that is almost my clone and I never even imagined that I had ADD too.   This blog is about having Attention Deficit Disorder and having a family with Attention Deficit Disorder Hyperactivity.  Our house is insane at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I hate that they call it a deficit and a disorder.  It is just our brains are different.  Why does different always have to be a disorder??  Why does different have to be a deficit??  How about it being kick ass thing to be able to think differently than others??  How about it being the best thing in the universe to be able to look at things another way.  How about not trying to place us in a box?   

So now we continue with a different understanding and perspective….. Could be interesting.  Looking forward to it!!