Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there! 

I can’t help thinking about all the mothers of these special needs ADHD kids this weekend. I wonder if any of the other mothers believe that spending Mother’s Day with your children really isn’t any different than any other day!  I just can’t help but think that Mother’s Day should be about spending time away from your children.  That would be a true Mother’s Day!!!   Spending the day shopping, at the spa, getting pampered, just being quiet, etc… 

I remember the last time someone asked me how many kids I had and I responded “Two, but they are both ADHD, so it is really like having four.”    People laugh when I say that, but I swear it is sooo true!  I love my children dearly, but they are high maintenance.  They are a lot of work. 

Mothers of ADHD kids need extra hugs.  It is a huge balancing act working with your ADHD child.  At any moment a crisis could arise that throws these children into major fits. 

One example I can think of is my 7 year old son and his need for  ”warm” clothes before he gets dressed every morning.  My son can kick up a truly major fit in the morning if I don’t warm up his clothes in the dryer before he gets dressed.    He just needs warm clothes to put on in the morning.  I get “it” and I warm up his clothes every morning.  And just by warming up his clothes I prevent a melt down AND a potential negative interaction.

I read recently that a “normal” child has positive interactions throughout a given day 80% of the time.   ADHD children have 80% negative interactions throughout a given day.  WOW.  Imagine how that child feels after one day of interactions.  80 percent…8 out of 10 interactions with others – children, teachers, parents, sibilings, etc…  8 times the interaction is negative in some way.  Wow. 

I can imagine my son’s day.  His ADHD in full swing…  I would imagine he gets told to sit back down in his seat a couple of times on the bus.  I wonder how many times his teachers tell him to stop talking.  He is a talker that child of mine!   I wonder how many times he steps over the line at recess?  I can just imagine him running down the hallway for the 50th time this year.  And I would bet he hears the word ‘focus’ a time or two during the day. 

Yes, I can believe that 80% of the time my children’s daily interactions are negative.  

When I put on my coach hat, I want to help parents work with their kids on increasing the positive interactions in their lives which in turn will help to develop a healthy self esteem.  When I put on my mom hat, I just want to cry because I know that sometimes when these children are growning up what “they” say is sometimes more important than what mom/dad says. 

So, when I warm up my son’s clothes in the dryer in the morning and other people look at me like I am crazy, or coddling him, well, so what!  It makes him happy and starts off his day in a more positive way. 

AND really, shouldn’t moms aways be in that 20%?? 

Namaste! 

Today is April Fools Day.  I always wondered just where did this day come from and why?   My children spent the morning telling me that ghosts were behind me, they really didn’t have school today, and there were snakes in the bath tub.   Of course the snake one almost got me, after all living in the country, anything is possible!!   But I thought it was so cute how they tried.   At the same time, I felt sorry for their teachers.  I can’t imagine listening to the non stop “April Fools” jokes all day. 

I have a high degree of respect for teachers.  They have such an impact on these kids.  I often wonder if they fall into the attitudes of so many other jobs.  Like do they say, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow?  Or look at the clock all day calculating how long until they get to go home?  I have to think they probably do, even though I don’t want them to think that way. 

I want teachers to want to be there teaching these kids.  I want teachers to enjoy coming to work and not look at the clock once while they are there to calculate their off time.  I want them to love my kids as much as I do.  (Yes, unrealistic as it is, I still want it!)  I want them to be positive all the time and never make kids feel bad.  (unless they deserve it) 

I went to Catholic school when I was young, and I still remember being afraid of the nuns wearing the “black costumes”.  (Yes I know that ages me!!)  They were scary!  I remember getting the ruler on the hand slap in second grade, couldn’t even tell you what I did to get that.  The nuns were tough!  You didn’t mess with them, most of the time, you kept your head down for fear of them sighting you.   My kids would get the crap beat out of them!!!!!  The nuns would have a heyday!

I sometimes wonder if my kids have it harder with an ADD mom.  One one hand, I would be the first to break the rules.  Like letting my daughter use a calculator for her math homework.  Is that bad?  In my mind, I think that as long as she knows how to do it, what’s the difference?  If there are tools to help us get the job done, then why can’t children use them too?  But on the other hand, I also understand how their little minds work.  So when they act out and use the “my medicine wore off” excuse, I totally bust them and don’t let them off the hook.   I have to remind them that I have ADD too, and that doesn’t give me the ”free pass” to break the law!  (That one did come back to haunt me when I got a speeding ticket with them in the car!)   

Then there are days where my disorganization is a distraction to them.  Like when I get up late (which happens more often than I care to admit!) and we have to rush to get ready for the bus.  They often go on tirades about how much they hate me, and how much I don’t love them cause I am yelling at them to hurry up.  And I know that I shouldn’t yell at them cause it just elevates the situation, but crap before coffee ~ anything goes!!   

So maybe having an ADD mom, they live April Fools every day and they don’t even know it!   I think when they get home today and start in with their jokes, I am going to smile and think about how the joke is actually on them!   Out of all the mothers in the world, they had to get me!!!  Poor little sh#%s!

APRIL FOOLS!!!! 

Namaste!