Third graders plot to kill their teacher????? I have to VENT!!!

What is happening in the world when third graders are plotting to kill their teacher.  My day started with reading a news article on Fox News about “Special Education” children plotting to kill their teacher.  Apparently they brought a broken knife, hand cuffs, and duct tape to school to get the job done.   Damn, those Georgia kids are rough! 

It’s bad enough for something like this to happen, but why do we have to point out that the children are “special education” children.  What does that have to do with anything?  Does that make the plot especially interesting?  Does that make what they did expected?  Does it make what they did so outrageous that we should not let those “special” kids in our regular schools??? 

Yes, I am sort of upset after reading the article.  According to Fox News ~ “The alleged target is a veteran educator who teaches third-grade students with a range of learning disabilities, including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said.”   So, again, why is that important to know?  Are we saying that “normal” or “regular” third graders would never had done something so heinous?  It’s those damn hyperactive kids causing the trouble.  They should be banned!!  After all, why should all the “normal” kids have to be subjected to their antics!  They are obviously a bad influence on the “regular” kids. 

WHATEVER!!!  What I find quite disturbing is that any third graders would come up with something like this.  I would have to say that the young girl who hatched the plot as revenge (according to the article ~ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,344369,00.html)  apparently has some issues to resolve, but she could have been any number of kids.  Not just one of those special education kids.

The same thing happened last December with the Omaha, NE mall shooting.  As more and more details came out about that boy (teenager) it was discovered that he had ADHD and did not have a great family upbringing.  Why again do we need to point out that he had ADHD.  It certainly doesn’t change what happened.  The grieving families aren’t going to be impacted one way or the other by the news.  I cringed then as I heard news accounts about the “monster” with ADHD. 

I believe that we need to be very careful when labeling people.  Yes this kid had ADHD, but he also had brown eyes &  brown hair and he worked at a McDonald’s.   Again, doesn’t have anything to do with the crime he committed.  Isn’t going to bring back any of the 9 people he killed.  And not all of the sensationalist killers of the recent past have had ADHD. 

I think that there is something more neurologically off balance with people who plot or carry out these sensationalist crimes.  There is something off with the way they are thinking.   And the third grader, how can we even expect to believe that this child knew what she was doing?  She is in third grade.  I can’t remember third grade myself, but I have a forth grader, and I know that there is some reality that she just hasn’t gotten yet. 

More and more news outlets are digging for dirt to bring the “news” to the rest of the world.  Personally, I think the 1950’s approach of not telling the whole truth was much better for society.  Giving people more information than is truly necessary doesn’t accomplish anything positive.  It certainly doesn’t change anything either….or does it….maybe it does after all…….maybe it just might change people’s attitudes…. 

The Law of Attraction??

While thinking about how much my ADD impacts my children, I may have inadvertently caused the lateness of our day this morning.  It’s sort of funny how I was just talking about waking up late and yelling and rushing my kids to get them off to school, and this morning was an exact replica of that thought. 

For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep last night.  I sometimes find that the Ritilan keeps me up late, as it does with the kids.  They both have scripts to help them get to sleep at night.  I have thought about sleeping pills, but I figure I will wait until it really becomes a problem.  If it does…  Maybe I can utilize the law of attraction to help myself sleep better.  If it worked in making us all late this morning, why wouldn’t it work in helping us sleep better. 

I remember watching the Secret and thinking that I definitely believe that it works.  I remember talking to a friend about how I had many years ago started a notebook of the things I wanted to have in my life.  I remember cutting out pictures of the things I wanted and glueing them to the pages of the notebook.  It is amazing when I see that notebook and the pictures in it today.  The items I wanted are all things that I have or have had. 

Not just material items either, marriage, kids, pets, etc…  Of course my little red jeep!  (I so love my jeep!!)  I can’t believe how I had this notebook 15 years earlier and the things in it have all come true.  That is truly the law of attraction in action.  I am a true believer because I have witnessed it work first hand. 

Since I was reminded when watching the secret about the law of attraction, I have worked with my children on visualization and keeping their thoughts positive and well meaning.  It is pretty difficult when working with ADD/ADHD children to help them control the impulsiveness of their thoughts.  My daughter is mostly good at correcting her thoughts when they get negative, but my son is another story!

He is constantly talking about hitting someone if they try to hurt him.  As a mother, I am just not sure what to do with that.  My natural instinct is to tell him that hitting is never an answer, but then I am met with his father’s voice of he is a BOY, and you need to let him be a boy! 

I guess I do need to let him be a boy, but I still believe that violence isn’t the answer.  I tell him that, but it is funny to hear him consistently come back with situations that may just constitute his need to hit someone.  When he says that someone is beating up his sister, then can he hit them, I have to say YEAH, and hit him once for me!!!!!  That is so not Zen, but how could I let him think that he should do nothing?   I just hope that he is never in the situation, but then again, boys will be boys. 

My daughter asked if she could get into karate, so I figure that I will get them both into it and then they will be better informed about physical violence.  I would rather see them have the ability to defend themselves than allow themselves to be bullied.  I suspect that if my son is feeling the need to protect his sister and himself than it is for a reason, so it’s better to have them learn the correct way to go about it. 

A part of me wants to make up another notebook and find pictures of things that I want for the future.  I also want to do the same with my kids.  I think it would be interesting to test the theory out again.  After all, it is kind of freaky to have done something 15 years ago, forgotten about it, and then find that everything came out as it was documented.  Who would have thought that would happen?   Hmmm, probably anyone involved with the law of attraction. 

 Namaste!

April Fools! They are so cute when they try to get you!!

Today is April Fools Day.  I always wondered just where did this day come from and why?   My children spent the morning telling me that ghosts were behind me, they really didn’t have school today, and there were snakes in the bath tub.   Of course the snake one almost got me, after all living in the country, anything is possible!!   But I thought it was so cute how they tried.   At the same time, I felt sorry for their teachers.  I can’t imagine listening to the non stop “April Fools” jokes all day. 

I have a high degree of respect for teachers.  They have such an impact on these kids.  I often wonder if they fall into the attitudes of so many other jobs.  Like do they say, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow?  Or look at the clock all day calculating how long until they get to go home?  I have to think they probably do, even though I don’t want them to think that way. 

I want teachers to want to be there teaching these kids.  I want teachers to enjoy coming to work and not look at the clock once while they are there to calculate their off time.  I want them to love my kids as much as I do.  (Yes, unrealistic as it is, I still want it!)  I want them to be positive all the time and never make kids feel bad.  (unless they deserve it) 

I went to Catholic school when I was young, and I still remember being afraid of the nuns wearing the “black costumes”.  (Yes I know that ages me!!)  They were scary!  I remember getting the ruler on the hand slap in second grade, couldn’t even tell you what I did to get that.  The nuns were tough!  You didn’t mess with them, most of the time, you kept your head down for fear of them sighting you.   My kids would get the crap beat out of them!!!!!  The nuns would have a heyday!

I sometimes wonder if my kids have it harder with an ADD mom.  One one hand, I would be the first to break the rules.  Like letting my daughter use a calculator for her math homework.  Is that bad?  In my mind, I think that as long as she knows how to do it, what’s the difference?  If there are tools to help us get the job done, then why can’t children use them too?  But on the other hand, I also understand how their little minds work.  So when they act out and use the “my medicine wore off” excuse, I totally bust them and don’t let them off the hook.   I have to remind them that I have ADD too, and that doesn’t give me the ”free pass” to break the law!  (That one did come back to haunt me when I got a speeding ticket with them in the car!)   

Then there are days where my disorganization is a distraction to them.  Like when I get up late (which happens more often than I care to admit!) and we have to rush to get ready for the bus.  They often go on tirades about how much they hate me, and how much I don’t love them cause I am yelling at them to hurry up.  And I know that I shouldn’t yell at them cause it just elevates the situation, but crap before coffee ~ anything goes!!   

So maybe having an ADD mom, they live April Fools every day and they don’t even know it!   I think when they get home today and start in with their jokes, I am going to smile and think about how the joke is actually on them!   Out of all the mothers in the world, they had to get me!!!  Poor little sh#%s!

APRIL FOOLS!!!! 

Namaste!

Being different is the new black!

So, I am driving along on the Highway and I am thinking about what I am going to do when I get home.  The sun is shining, the temp is around 65, the birds are singing, all is well on the ranch!  As so often happens, my mind starts to wander to the various little pockets of interest I have.  The whole drive home I was thinking about all the things I should be doing i.e. laundry, clean the house; and all the things I wanted to do ~ go for a nature walk, take pictures of the scenery, tend to my roses, play catch with the dogs, paint the gas tank, work on my Spanish, work on my website……  

I could go on and on with the multitude of interests I have in things that have nothing in common at all.  I find it intriguing that I ever had a successful career in corporate arena.  After all, I was interested in so many different professions, accounting, sales, customer service, programming, marketing, etc…   As it would happen, I just “fell” into the quality path and it seemed to fit.  But I can still remember each and every time a boss or interviewer asked me the dreaded, “where do you want to be in 5 years” question. 

Where do I want to be in 5 years?  Asking an adder that question is like asking a baby who the next president is going to be.  Are you serious???  The pressure immediately starts fogging the mind, mumbles start coming out of our mouths, we are still wondering how we got here right now, let along try to figure out where we want to be in 5 years.   

Quite frankly, I had no idea where I wanted to be in a week.  I was floating along on my one person boat out in the ocean of life.  My little boat would float here and there and I would stop for a while and hang out and then get back in my little boat to float to the next place; never knowing what was next.  It didn’t bother me one bit that I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, in fact, I didn’t want to know, I preferred it to be a surprise. 

Life was so much easier without goals, after-all, if you never have goals, you don’t have to worry about not hitting them.  If you don’t have the pressure of hitting goals, you can focus on the job at hand, whatever it may be.  I never liked having goals.  I was so much better at actually hitting a goal when I didn’t have one!!   

And others I worked with thought I was crazy.  How could you not have goals?  Where did you want to be working?  What job did you want to be doing?  How much money did you want to be making?  HOLY CRAP!  Enough with the questions already!! We don’t all have to be the same.  I prefer to not formalize goals.  I like them to be fluid.  I like to know that I can change them if they don’t fit anymore.   

When you have ADHD, you find strategies that work for you and you use them.  It doesn’t really matter what others think, if it works for you, that is all that you should care about.  I tell my daughter that all the time.  If it works for her, that is all that matters.  I try to impart to her that being different is far better than being the same.  After all, how boring would it be if we were all the same?  So I say “Being different is the new black!!!”    Let your different shine!!  Let your different be seen!  Let your different be free and don’t worry about the rest of it! 

Namaste!

Spring! :@ Allergies! :( Mommy Modes! :)

Spring is almost here.  I can feel it.  I can hear the birds singing.  See the little green sprouts starting to emerge from the ground.  The atmosphere is changing.  The kids are more hyper than usual.  And of course Allergies have attacked us all again!!!  

Yesterday I awoke at 5AM to my 10 year old ADD daughter (MJ) screaming “Mom, I have a bloody nose”.  Argugh….. All I could think of was that it wasn’t time for bloody noses, go back to bed and wait for another hour, then have it.  (Sigh, if only that would work!)    

 So I spring into mommy mode and begin the calming process of it’s OK, get a warm cloth, and lets lie back down and breathe.  (We do lots of breathing in our ADHD house!)  But then I hear my tummy hurts and I have a headache and my eyes hurt (and of course with all the drama it takes about 10 minutes to get it all out).  Hmmm, OK, now I switch to doctor-mommy mode.  Calm down, it’s OK, a warm shower will help your head clear & we’ll take a trip to the doc to make sure it isn’t a sinus infection, come here let me hug you…..

Whew…she’s in the shower, it’s working, crisis averted; a quick call to the doc and we may be able to get another 1/2 hour of sleep in before we start the day.  This ADD mom needs her sleep!   :)   But then,”Mom, I’m awake and ready for breakfast!”      Crap!  There goes that needed sleep!

It’s TJ, my ADHD 7 year old declaring that he was awake now and wanted breakfast.    When he is awake and ready to get his day started, I’ve learned that it’s best to just go with it.  Telling him to go back to bed would be like telling a starving lion not to attack the baby gisele.  So, time to switch into mommy waitress mode and I don’t even have to ask what he wants, it’s a given that pancakes or waffles is the order.  So mommy cook takes over and gets him his breakfast.  Then we get ready for school and off he goes.   Bet he won’t be tired all day, I wish I had a fourth of his energy!    Off to the doctor with MJ and let the day begin…

I sometimes wonder if my ADD affects how I switch up into to so many different modes so quickly without getting frustrated.  I always thought that staying on schedule was helpful for those of us with ADD, but I find it quite boring.  Sure it’s great to know what needs to get done and when, but I’ts all too confining and monotonous.   I like to be more adventurous and let the day bring what it will and just roll with it.   Then again, that may be just what has gotten me into trouble in the past! 

For as long as I can remember, I was always bucking the status quo.  I almost didn’t graduate from Catholic high school because I wasn’t passing the religion course.  (I had developed an intense dislike of the teacher and in true ADD fashion, tuned out the teacher and the course.)  The school called my parents and told them I was not going to be able to graduate if I didn’t pass the class.  We had a meeting with the school, and of course I had to point out to the principal they couldn’t not let me graduate because religion class was not a state requirement for graduation and I had already met all the state requirements.   Yes, I’m sure they were very happy to see me go, and I did graduate after writing a paper on the sacraments.       

Now that I am older, I realize I could have handled the situation much better.  Looking back at my life before I knew I was ADD, I can see many situations where I let ADD get the best of me.  There are actually lots of situations I could have handled better or differently… 

But then I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences.  Today I am a mom of many modes who deals with her children based upon the experiences from past.  Today I am a coach who assists others with their life’s journey.  Today I wouldn’t trade all those experiences for the world because it helps me help others.  Today I can appreciate the bad times with the good.  For today I realize again that everything happens for a reason, we just aren’t aware of it at the time…       

NAMASTE! 

Impulsive again!

So, when I discovered I had ADD, there were a few things that finally made some sense to me.  I can’t count the times I did something spur of the moment without thinking about it.  Not just small things, like ordering something different than I usually get from a favorite restaurant; but big things, like buying a house.  Yes I did buy a house right after looking at it.  I also bought my Jeep Rubicon the same way.  I told my friends I was going to leave work early and buy a Jeep, and that is just what I did.  I love that jeep!  I even made much larger decisions impulsively, like divorcing my husband. 

 With each impulsive decision, I never looked back and regretted it.  It is something that kind of amazes me now, but it’s true.  I don’t regret the decisions that I made quickly and without much thought.  I think my intuition sort of took over during those times and did what it had to.  

Today I did it again.  I made one of those impulsive decisions.  I signed on-line this morning and went to a local radio station’s website and looked through some classified ads.  I saw an ad that captured my interest, toy poodles, black, $200 for male.  There was a number to call and yes I did call and go there and bought one.   And yes we already have 4 dogs.  (One good thing about living in the country, there isn’t a 3 dog limit!) 

Now, I know that I shouldn’t have gone out and spent money on another dog when we already have four.  I know that I shouldn’t be spending the money on something that is actually going to cost more money in the long run.  I know these things but I did it anyway.  The voices inside my head said so what.  So what if we already have 4 dogs.  So what if I really shouldn’t be spending $200 right now.  So what if my relatives will think I have lost my mind again.  So what…

Being ADD, I have gotten used to people shaking their heads at me.  Always asking what was I thinking.  And me always saying that I wasn’t thinking, and feeling guilty for doing whatever it was that I impulsively did again, but not regretting it.  Just feeling disappointed that people constantly believe I am crazy while I continue through life believing I am normal. 

Because realistically, after-all, isn’t everyone just a little crazy normal once in a while. 

NAMASTE!

By the way, I am naming the tiny guy  ”Little Buddha”

Holy Crap! I have ADD too!

So I have two children and a husband with ADD/ADHD.  I wondered sometimes just how I had hit the motherload of ADD??  I studied the various medicine, alternatives, strategies, and support stuff.  I read up on how their lives would be effected.  I read about the horror stories of school aged kids and what the “system” has put them through.  I experienced my own children being placed at their own separate desks and not allowed to sit with the rest of the group.   I am not sure, but that action by my childrens teachers seems quite discriminatory.  But alas, I digress. 

So back in 2005 I decided to start my own business after much discontent with a corproate career.  I started life coaching and helping others find their dreams and change their lives.   Then in 2007, I decided to move into another coaching field, ADD/ADHD coaching.  At the time I figured that with the kids and my hubby being ADD/ADHD, it would be a natural progression and I have much experience in that universe.  So I join a coach training program late in 2007 and discover that there is so much to ADD/ADHD that I never knew about.  Like for instance, I HAVE ADD TOO!!! 

I find it unbelievable that I have a 10 year old daughter with ADD that is almost my clone and I never even imagined that I had ADD too.   This blog is about having Attention Deficit Disorder and having a family with Attention Deficit Disorder Hyperactivity.  Our house is insane at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I hate that they call it a deficit and a disorder.  It is just our brains are different.  Why does different always have to be a disorder??  Why does different have to be a deficit??  How about it being kick ass thing to be able to think differently than others??  How about it being the best thing in the universe to be able to look at things another way.  How about not trying to place us in a box?   

So now we continue with a different understanding and perspective….. Could be interesting.  Looking forward to it!!