So what’s it like to have perfectly well behaved children?
Posted by leisa on July 16, 2008
Well, let me tell you! It’s great…in my imagination!
Recently I was asked what it was like to have perfectly well behaved ADHD children. My reply was what would make you believe that my children were perfectly well behaved? “Well, you are an ADHD coach; I just assumed that your children are well behaved ADHD kids.” I thought for a second, and replied with “Do doctors ever get sick?” To which she said “Yes, I guess they do.”
Believing that my children are perfectly behaved ADHD kids because I am an ADHD coach is like believing that Doctors or their kids never get sick. Doctors get sick, their kids get sick, and my children’s behavior is just like any other ADHD child. Actually any child for that matter.
Sometimes I wish my children came with a user’s manual. Wouldn’t that be fabulous! Just go to page 945 to see what to do when your child tells you no for the 15th time. Page 1128 tells you what to do when your child “helps” you by cleaning the bathtub with shampoo. Page 2646 tells you what to do when your child lies about taking dads tools out of the tool box and placing them under his bed.
It would be great to have all the answers, but just like any other parent ADHD or otherwise, I don’t have them all. Honestly, if I met someone who had all the answers, I would be quite leery. Personally, I don’t believe that anyone has ALL the answers. If they did, could they be human?
As human beings, we all come from different places, have different experiences, believe different things, think different ways, live different lives and love different ways. That is what I believe makes humanity awesome. Sure there are some bad apples in the basket; just cut those pieces out and the apple is still good.
I like to think that I help people cut those bad pieces out. Cut out the negativity, the stuff that doesn’t serve you or anyone else. Coaching is my passion and I love helping others be the best that they can be. It is why I am here in this universe right now in a world that sometimes dwells on the negative. Dwell on the positive, look for it, savor it, live it, change your path. Or not…It’s your choice!
Namaste!
Dr. C said
As a child psychologist, I find that it is much easier to suggest
strategies to others than to successfully manage your own family. When
dealing with others, you can be much more objective and dispassionate.
Your emotions don’t interfere nearly as much. With your own children,
however, it’s an entirely different ballgame.
I also believe that the tricky part of being a therapist isn’t coming up
with suggestions but rather helping the parents figure out what to do
after your initial recommendations don’t work. Children with ADHD are
quite good at playing adults against each other. They also appear to be
good at learning your plan and figuring out how to work it to their
advantage in ways you probably never imagined. That is why you need to
be flexible, able to change the strategy as needed. Raising
psychologically healthy children is still an art rather than a science.
~Dr. C
ADHD Help For Parents and Children
leisa said
Dr. C,
I agree completely! It is an art rather than a science. I find coaching my own family while maintaining mommy status is tough. Coaching other parents seems second nature, but I am too closely involved with my own family to be as effective! Thanks for your comments!