School is almost here! How are your letters coming?

Happy Monday!

 

I would guess you didn’t think it would be so difficult to write a letter about your child.  I completely understand.  While working on my daughter’s letter this year, I had some difficulty in taking the strengths she has and turning them into positives.  I was thinking that her age (she turns 11 next week) has quite a bit to do with it. OR the Disney machine that keeps cranking out the multitude of Hannah Montana merchandise!! 

 

Allow me to explain.  My daughter is one of those kids who idolizes Hannah Montana and wants to be just like her.  (Yes just like the millions of other little girls out there!)  So she and I have been a little contentious with each other since I am of the mindset that idolizing anything that is overwhelming marketed by a large corporation isn’t good for her; and she is of the mindset that Hannah Montana / Miley Cyrus is the best thing since sliced bread. 

 

Of course, she wants Hannah clothes, school supplies, back pack, underwear, etc…  And it doesn’t matter how many times I explain that just because the pencil has Hannah on, it doesn’t make it write any different and doesn’t justify the cost.  I give her an example of a regular pencil costing about 10 cents and a Hannah pencil costing about a dollar. While she can comprehend the difference and agrees that products shouldn’t be more expensive just because of the person on the pencil; she also asked me if she could get Hannah folders and just regular pencils instead. 

 

Hmmm, think that discussion missed the boat a little bit, but at least I tried.  Alas, I digress!  So, when writing the letter about her strengths, I was having some difficulty separating my annoyance with her insistence on everything Hannah.  So I had to strategize some other ideas about coming up with her strengths.  Put my emotions aside and look just at facts.  The obvious answer was to coach myself into finding them just as I do others.  If you are having difficulty, try some of these to get you going.   

 

To help get started on finding her strengths, I decided to ask some relatives to tell me something that they feel she is good at.  I got quite a bit of good info there.  It is always interesting for me to see how other people view her. 

 

Then I found a strength finder site through Penn State that had a strengths test for children over 8.  I found the test results for my daughter very interesting and close to what I was coming up with on my own.  The test can be found here:    http://www.viasurvey.org/ .    It is free to register and different from the Gallup strengths that I have taken for myself.  I wouldn’t take the results as set in stone however since our children are always changing, but I would consider it helpful for my letter writing task.    

 

Another thing I did with my daughter was ask her directly what she felt her strengths were.  I find it an interesting and insightful conversation which builds intimacy and self esteem. 

 

Lastly I developed a resume of sorts for her teachers. (With her help) In addition to the letter I find that the more a teacher knows about your child, the more he/she can connect with them if difficulties arise.  We put such things as interests, likes, dislikes, hobbies, family info, and pets.  I also include a copy of our homework routine so they can refer to it if necessary. 

 

Once the packet is complete, I will drop it off at the school before their first day.  This will allow the teacher some time to actually read it and anticipate meeting my kids.  (I hope they anticipate it anyway!)   J

 

My letter for my daughter is almost complete, and I must say once I got going, it wasn’t as difficult writing about her strengths.  And really finding them wasn’t the true issue at all, but explaining them to someone who isn’t familiar with her that was causing me trouble. The difficulty now is keeping it short so the teacher will actually read it!  So, a couple more versions and I will be done.  How’s your letter coming???

 

Enjoy the rest of your summer! 

School is almost here – my back to school tips

As an ADHD Coach and mother of two ADHD children, back to school time poses some additional steps to ease the “summer’s over” transition.  ADHD children have been known to have difficulty with transitions and my children are no exception.  My 11 year old daughter will be in fifth grade and my 7 year old son will be in second.  Here are my top ‘must do’s’ to help them and me start the school year off successfully.

 

 

Write a letter to your child’s teachers

Write a letter to your child’s teacher introducing your child, his/her strengths, and weaknesses with tips that have worked at home or last year.  Provide a way for the teacher to communicate with you as necessary.  I email my children’s teacher as needed to communicate things that happen at home that may impact their school day.  Important:  Password protect your email ~ I learned this one the hard way last year!!!   I also like to provide ADHD information as well to ensure the teacher is aware of your child’s special traits.  CHADD has some wonderful information to impart that can be found at their site:  www.chadd.org

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Practice run their school schedule

Try to get a copy of your child’s daily schedule to begin reviewing and walking through with them before school starts.  I set a timer and let them know what they are doing next or where they need to go.  We practice re packing our backpack to be ready for changing classrooms.  We keep a calendar for school activities, before/after school activities, and special events in a location they can access anytime.  

 

Communicate with the school nurse

Write out your child’s medical information, allergies, medication, common complaints, and possible remedies that have worked in the past.  For example, my daughter seems to feel sick to her stomach more when the weather is cold and it is time for recess.   My son on the other hand could be bleeding profusely and not want a band aid. 

 

Devise a homework plan

Discuss with your children their homework plan.  Let them make some decisions about when, where, and how they plan to get it done.  Allowing them to make decisions will help them feel more empowered to accomplish their goal.  I use a calendar with stickers that they get to pick out once their homework is done.  If they don’t have homework, they get a sticker anyway, and when the month is up hang the sticker filled calendar where they can see it in their homework spot.  

 

Re read their IEP/504 plan

Review their IEP/504 plan before school starts to see if they met their goals, what goals may need some improvement, and begin thinking about what goals may be needed this year.  Schedule a meeting with your child’s school support team to strategize on how they can be successful this coming year.  Include your child if it’s appropriate and the team agrees.

 

Review social norms

Role play social situations that you child will encounter in school.  Ask them questions about they will handle common situations; get them thinking now about how to react.  I like to role play situations that they have talked to me about last school year.  We also review how to make and treat friends.   A couple of questions I ask my 10 year old daughter are: What will you do if your friend is sitting with other friends at lunch?   How will you handle yourself if you ask to sit with them and they say no or there isn’t room?  What will you do if the teacher calls on you and you don’t have the answer?  What if you do have the answer and the teacher doesn’t call on you?  What will you do if the boys tease you about your new haircut?  It’s difficult, but don’t give them the answers, guide them to finding an appropriate solution. 

 

Create an organized area for papers coming home

There are plenty of papers that will be coming home, so prepare now for the deluge.  We one spot in our home for all papers and we file them in order of importance; papers that mom needs to read now, homework papers that we can go over anytime, and those we need to discuss that night.  Papers they are proud of go directly to the refrigerator for the week.  When the week is done, we file them and keep them as reminders of what we can accomplish when we have those difficult days. 

 

Buy extra supplies

Save yourself time later and buy extra supplies now. I like to keep pencils, erasers, markers, and red pens on hand for when they loose the ones they have at school. All the labeling in the world isn’t going to stop them from getting lost!  A locker organizer is a must have for my daughter!  And a superman/batman pencil does wonders for helping my son get his math done!

 

The impending school year can be stressful for many of our ADHD children, so anything we can do to help them transition and be successful benefits you and them in the long run.  Remember to celebrate successes, ask for help when you need it, take care of you and have a great start back to school! 

 

 

 

  

Our First Summer Injury

It is difficult to believe, but school is just 5 weeks away!  More difficult to believe is our first minor/major injury happened this week.  As any parent of an ADHD child can tell you, injuries are just part of the territory.  My hyperactive son is always getting bruised, cut, scraped, or banged up.  It is just a part of who he is. 

 

Last summer he ran into a bird bath at my parent’s house and got 6 staples in his head.  This time he almost knocked his front tooth out.  He was building a ramp of some sort and it fell and then he fell into the top part of the ramp.  I was inside the house doing the dishes after dinner when all of a sudden he bursts into the kitchen, screaming and crying, blood dripping everywhere!    

 

I could feel my blood pressure rise and panic beginning to set in.  The one thing that truly scares me the most about being in the country is being so far from emergency medical help.  In the city, you are 5 – 10 minutes away from an emergency facility with professionals who can help you; in the country, it’s 30 – 40 minutes. 

 

However, what I find interesting is that somewhere inside me is a general who is very calm during the initial panic of an injury.  Inside, I was TENSE wondering just what had happened, why was there so much blood, and how was I going to explain to him that he did need to see a doctor knowing how much he hated the staples last year.

 

My thoughts were so quick that I barely had time to panic!  I calmly told him that he needed to calm down and let me see what had happened.  He did, but not without saying “The doctor can’t put staples in your mouth can he?”  I told him that he needed to be calm, let me look, and we were going to put ice on it, then we would see if he needed to go to the doctor.      

 

Looking at his mouth, I got that queasy feeling that maybe we were headed to the hospital, but I wasn’t sure if they could do anything since it looked like little cuts on either side of his tooth.  It definitely looked like it HURT a lot!!  And a little harder hit, that tooth could have been gone! 

 

I ended up not taking him to the doctor after conferring with his dad. (Who thinks that I baby him too much anyway?)  It was late and the bleeding stopped relatively quickly.  I figured that a dentist would most likely take hours to locate and even more time to come in to see him, so we would wait until morning to see how he did through the night.  

 

Everything turned out OK.  The tooth isn’t loose and is healing quite nicely.  He was very lucky this time.

 

As his mother, I know that injuries are part of the mix, but I wish he could try and be a little more careful.  As a coach, I know that he is driven by motor and has no brakes.  So I can remind him about the staples when I see him getting over zealous and sometimes it works, but sometimes he keeps on going! 

 

Note to self:  Update first aid kit!

 

Namaste!

 

summer Injury

So what’s it like to have perfectly well behaved children?

 

Well, let me tell you!  It’s great…in my imagination! 

 Recently I was asked what it was like to have perfectly well behaved ADHD children.  My reply was what would make you believe that my children were perfectly well behaved?  “Well, you are an ADHD coach; I just assumed that your children are well behaved ADHD kids.”   I thought for a second, and replied with “Do doctors ever get sick?”  To which she said “Yes, I guess they do.”   

 

Believing that my children are perfectly behaved ADHD kids because I am an ADHD coach is like believing that Doctors or their kids never get sick.  Doctors get sick, their kids get sick, and my children’s behavior is just like any other ADHD child.  Actually any child for that matter. 

 

Sometimes I wish my children came with a user’s manual.  Wouldn’t that be fabulous!  Just go to page 945 to see what to do when your child tells you no for the 15^th time.   Page 1128 tells you what to do when your child “helps” you by cleaning the bathtub with shampoo.  Page 2646 tells you what to do when your child lies about taking dads tools out of the tool box and placing them under his bed.   

 

It would be great to have all the answers, but just like any other parent ADHD or otherwise, I don’t have them all.  Honestly, if I met someone who had all the answers, I would be quite leery.  Personally, I don’t believe that anyone has ALL the answers.  If they did, could they be human? 

 

As human beings, we all come from different places, have different experiences, believe different things, think different ways, live different lives and love different ways.  That is what I believe makes humanity awesome.  Sure there are some bad apples in the basket; just cut those pieces out and the apple is still good. 

 

I like to think that I help people cut those bad pieces out.  Cut out the negativity, the stuff that doesn’t serve you or anyone else.   Coaching is my passion and I love helping others be the best that they can be.  It is why I am here in this universe right now in a world that sometimes dwells on the negative.  Dwell on the positive, look for it, savor it, live it, change your path.  Or not…It’s your choice!

 

Namaste!