The Rodeo Weekend!

Another blog from 6/16:

 

My 10 year old daughter had a tough weekend and mommy coaching was needed to help her see her way through.  There was a rodeo in a town close to us and my daughter was very excited that she and her dad (the horse lovers in our family) were going to go.  We own horses and my husband trains and shoes them for a hobby.  My daughter loves her horse and spends as much time as she can learning from her dad about horses. 

 

My son on the other hand is not interested in the horses much at all; every once and a while I will catch him petting them, but he does not ride nor take care of them. He had decided that he did not want to go to the rodeo; he wanted to stay home with mom and go swimming.  So our Friday night was planned and everything was great up until the moment right before dinner when my son announced that he had changed his mind and did want to go to see the bulls at the rodeo.  Holy moley guacamole!  My daughter immediately started to seriously melt down! 

 

She proceeded to follow my son around ranting and raving that he did not like horses as much as she did and that she was daddys girl, and he was mommys boy and that she was going to spend quality time with her dad while he stayed home with mom, and so on and so on…Of course my son tried to fight back with his own type of logic, that her dad was his dad and they both could spend time with him, etc… But she was having none of it.  She did not let up on him until I finally chimed in that we were all going to go to the rodeo and that we could all have fun as a family together – end of story.  Then she promptly went to her room to cry it out. 

 

I figured that after she had a good cry, she would feel a little better and accept that we were all going.  I went to her room to call her for dinner and she announced that she was no t hungry and did not want to go to the rodeo after all. Now, the mommy me wanted to tell her to get her little butt up out of that bed and deal with it since it was not that big of a deal.  After all, I had a nice calm night planned reading by my pond, I am not into the horse stuff, and the rodeo was the last place I wanted to spend my Friday night!! 

 

But coach me asked her what she was feeling right at that moment.  After some questioning, she admitted that she was jealous and had planned the night out at the rodeo with just her dad.  So I asked her to tell me how her night was going to go with just her dad.  She explained that they would go talk to the cowboys since her dad knew many of them, and that she would be the center of attention. Then I asked her how the night would be changed if her brother and I went with them.  She explained that her brother would act out and end up needing more attention because of his hyper behavior.  Wow.  That was big coming from a 10 year old! 

 

I was pretty torn as to what to do next.  I hated to see her disappointed, and I also hated disappointing my son if I told him that he and I were going to stay home.  But I also knew that she was most likely right with her assessment of her brother. The excitement of the events surrounding the rodeo would most likely make him more hyper and we would end up garnering more attention towards him in order to help him be calm.  My ADD mind was in full gear searching for a win-win outcome. 

 

Quickly I pulled my husband aside and explained the situation and we came up with a viable solution.  At dinner my husband asked my daughter if she could go with him to the back area to see some of the horses that were taking part in the rodeo.  Of course my son popped up and asked if he could go, but daddy told him that he needed to stay and watch over mommy since she didn’t know anything about rodeos and it could be dangerous for her to be alone.  J  And just like that, the impending doom of the evening was averted.    

 

The evening worked out fine.  My son was more hyper with all the activity, but my daughter happy to have her daddy to herself checking out horses and talking to rodeo cowboys.  I enjoyed the time distracting my son and engaging him in discussions about what the cowboys were doing throughout the night.  (Yes I did have to make stuff up at times!!)  But I still have to say that rodeos are really not my cup of tea and I just might have faired better with a book by the pond and a disappointed son in the pool!!!

  

Being a parent is by far the toughest job I have ever had and I don’t always get it right.  Many times I reflect back on situations and feel that I could have handled it differently. But the facts are that I did not, so I choose to learn from those moments, move on, and know what not to do next time. 

 

Namaste!

 

Bad things happen to dogs who get into trash!!!

Tonight I went outside to watch the lightening bugs and discovered the dogs had gotten into the trash.  Does’t that annoy the heck out of you!?!  I hate when they do that!  So while I am picking up the trash and placing it back in our trash can, our small chiuaua comes up to me like this:

Yes that is a Jif peanut butter jar stuck on his head.  I still can’t imagine how he did that?  The worst part of it all is that I couldn’t pull it off, I had to cut it off his head.   Guess karma works for dogs too!  Get in the trash, get a peanut butter jar stuck to your head, any questions????? 

Namaste!

 

I have been writing…honest!!! :)

Hi All!

I have been writing over at the adhdcoaches blog, so I have been neglecting this one. I am going to copy some of my blog entries from there to here, then I will most likely write more on this one and every once in a while over there.  Hope someone out there missed me!!

This is from 6/10/08:

Good Day!

 

I have been trying to write for a week now, but the weather has not been cooperating. As you may know, I live in the Midwest and it has been especially nasty this year.  There are flood warnings for my county and the counties around me, so traveling has proved difficult; many roads are closed.  We live in an old farm house without a basement, so we have traveled to my in-laws (literally 2 minutes away) just about every night when the tornado spotters are called out. 

 

Changes in routine are tough for the kids.  Severe weather is also tough for the kids.  The lightening and thunder are especially bright and loud so the kids have had interrupted sleep on top of the worry about tornados.  Kids with ADHD and lack of sleep are somewhat on the grouchy side and of course mommy gets the brunt of their frustration!

 

In addition to their heightened states of awareness, mommy is also more stressed since we have lost power three times, water once, and got hit by lightening so my router is not working.  Mommy can take just about anything, but take her internet access, and look out!!!

 

It is times like these where I need to stop and pause.  I learned about the power of a pause from Master Coach and ADD Coach Academyfounder David Giwerc.  I complete my ADD coaching training through ADDCA in two weeks.  I have learned so much about my own ADD and so many useful strategies that I use with my own family. 

 

We are a more cohesive family since I started ADD coaching and learning more about myself and my family.  Coaching has changed how I look at our family and how I react during these stressful times.  We had similar weather last year and I notice a substantial difference in how we are all responding to the difficult weather.  We are calmer; I am calmer. And that is the point of my post today.                                                  

 

As a parent, my kids look to me during these stressful times; how I react directly impacts how they react.  The calmer I am; the calmer they are. The more I pause to reflect; the better I become.

 

Namaste!