Happy Mother’s Day!
Posted by leisa on May 12, 2008
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there!
I can’t help thinking about all the mothers of these special needs ADHD kids this weekend. I wonder if any of the other mothers believe that spending Mother’s Day with your children really isn’t any different than any other day! I just can’t help but think that Mother’s Day should be about spending time away from your children. That would be a true Mother’s Day!!! Spending the day shopping, at the spa, getting pampered, just being quiet, etc… 
I remember the last time someone asked me how many kids I had and I responded “Two, but they are both ADHD, so it is really like having four.” People laugh when I say that, but I swear it is sooo true! I love my children dearly, but they are high maintenance. They are a lot of work.
Mothers of ADHD kids need extra hugs. It is a huge balancing act working with your ADHD child. At any moment a crisis could arise that throws these children into major fits.
One example I can think of is my 7 year old son and his need for ”warm” clothes before he gets dressed every morning. My son can kick up a truly major fit in the morning if I don’t warm up his clothes in the dryer before he gets dressed. He just needs warm clothes to put on in the morning. I get “it” and I warm up his clothes every morning. And just by warming up his clothes I prevent a melt down AND a potential negative interaction.
I read recently that a “normal” child has positive interactions throughout a given day 80% of the time. ADHD children have 80% negative interactions throughout a given day. WOW. Imagine how that child feels after one day of interactions. 80 percent…8 out of 10 interactions with others – children, teachers, parents, sibilings, etc… 8 times the interaction is negative in some way. Wow.
I can imagine my son’s day. His ADHD in full swing… I would imagine he gets told to sit back down in his seat a couple of times on the bus. I wonder how many times his teachers tell him to stop talking. He is a talker that child of mine! I wonder how many times he steps over the line at recess? I can just imagine him running down the hallway for the 50th time this year. And I would bet he hears the word ‘focus’ a time or two during the day.
Yes, I can believe that 80% of the time my children’s daily interactions are negative.
When I put on my coach hat, I want to help parents work with their kids on increasing the positive interactions in their lives which in turn will help to develop a healthy self esteem. When I put on my mom hat, I just want to cry because I know that sometimes when these children are growning up what “they” say is sometimes more important than what mom/dad says.
So, when I warm up my son’s clothes in the dryer in the morning and other people look at me like I am crazy, or coddling him, well, so what! It makes him happy and starts off his day in a more positive way.
AND really, shouldn’t moms aways be in that 20%??
Namaste!
