The differences of us all.

I spent the weekend in Omaha promoting ADD/ADHD Coaching at the Omaha Health and Wellness Expo.  I met many people with varied views on ADHD and the multitude of treatments; some people don’t believe that ADD exists, some people don’t believe in medication, some people know what it feels like and quite a few parents are worried about their children.   There is tons of information to cover, so I am breaking up the information between people who attended the expo, and people working the expo. 

 

 

Attendees:

A few of the attendees I met were parents worried about their ADHD kids.  Two of the parents had kids in high school and were worried about how the high schools would not work with them on special allowances for their kids.  It was interesting that both parents were worried about the same issue, but took very different views about it.  One parent was upset and had gone through the protocol all the way to the district administrator with doctors notes about her son and his difficultly adjusting.  She was upset that throughout grade school, this child got A’s & B’s, but now was getting C’s & D’s because he was in high school and they wouldn’t allow special accommodations. 

 

Another mother was upset that her son was going into high school and his teachers were utilizing special accommodations just to help him.  She said that he wouldn’t get special help in high school; therefore, she didn’t want the teachers helping him in junior high.  His teacher was reading him the test questions and he would perform better as a result.  I guess I see both parent’s points, but it is quite disconcerting that high schools aren’t working better with ADHD kids. 

 

One gentleman told me that he had lots of ADHD kids ~ he was a corrections officer.  I was taken aback when he told me that, but it does make sense.  It’s unfortunate, but it does make sense. 

 

Another woman was interested in the differences between girls and boys.  She thought that kids grew out of ADHD.  I told her I wish they had! J  She said she is pretty sure she has it, and her daughter has a slight case of it, but they treat it organically.  We talked about self esteem, and how it is so tough on the kids these days.  I told her about a time when my daughter came home al upset about not being on the popular list at school.  We went through the drama of it all week and I tried everything I could think of to make her feel better about it.  It seemed to work but then she would go back to school, and just get upset again.  So finally I told her that she really didn’t want to be on the popular list anyway.  She asked why, and I told her that the kids on the popular list were fat and ugly when they grew up, and she didn’t want to be that.  Telling her that worked.  We never worried about the popular list again.  The woman I was talking to told me that she did the exact same thing, except she told her daughter that the popular kids grew up and married losers.   I found that interesting, and when I have time I figure I will analyze the responses to see what they tell me.  

 

One woman asked me how I was qualified to coach ADHD people.  I told her that I was training with ADDCA and had ADD and two children with ADD, and a husband with ADD.  I told her I had spent years in management assisting employees and that I had successfully navigated through life as such, and wanted to help others in similar situations.  When she asked if I was certified, I told her that certification was a lengthy non mandatory process that I was pursuing.  She asked what I made an hour, and I started to discuss the packages that I offer, but I could tell that she didn’t care and I told her 105 per hour.    I can’t help but think that she was a coach of some sort or affiliated with one and was just looking for info.   To a certain extent, it sort of aggravates me that she just didn’t come out with it and be straight.  I personally believe that there should not be competition between coaches.  The universe will send me the clients that are meant for me, and the universe will do the same for any one else.  I have to wonder about people who are competitive in this type of profession. Do they really want to help people or are they just in it for a buck?  Hmmm, have to think more on that one. 

 

One couple asked me about how much diet has to do with ADD.  I told them that while I had read quite a bit about the various diets and how they work with these types of kids and people, I wasn’t 100 percent convinced until I try them.  I explained that I was going to try my kids on the gluten free diet this summer.  I explained that I had tried soy milk with them, and it didn’t go over very well; they suggested milk from a farm fresh out of the cow.  They said that most states outlaw it, but there are a few that you can get away with it at.  I thought that was interesting, but not sure about it, 

 

There were others that I spoke with, but the most interesting and intriguing was a fellow coach who practices energy work.  She asked me if I thought that ADHD could be reversed.  I paused and looked at her and responded that I wasn’t sure about being reversed, but I did feel that it could be managed.  She told me that it could be reversed, and she had done it.  I told her that I would be very interested in learning about how she did that.  She even went so far as to say that the child she was working with was becoming more hyper because the medicine he was on was not effective anymore since they were reversing the ADD.  She said that she would love to work with me, as she isn’t an ADD coach, but would like to have one to refer to.  I told her that we should go to lunch to discuss further the reversal of ADD.  Not sure what to think about it, but I intrigued enough to check into it further. 

 

Whew, that’s it for now.  Tomorrow I will have info on the exhibitors I met and the interesting conversations I had with them. 

 

Namaste!

Allergy Season…..I need a nap!!!

Namaste to anyone who reads my blog!  (don’ worry, I won’t tell anyone!) 

I am so ready for a nap!  I haven’t written in a few weeks, I have been busy getting ready for a health expo that I am attending in two weeks.  I have a booth that I am working on and literature that I am writing to pass out at the expo.   Needless to say, I am swamped!! 

Anyway, back to the nap.  For whatever reason, when allergy season hits, I get extra tired after going outside.  It’s not fun!  Remember when we were kids and we hated rest breaks or naps; we were stupid.  That’s it plain and simple, we were stupid.  Now I don’t condone name calling, nor do I allow my kids to do it, so please don’t take it as if I am calling you stupid.  I am calling the thought that we had back then stupid.  I guess it goes along with if I only knew then what I know right now. 

I was back home for the weekend, and we discussed just that topic at dinner.  If only we knew, would we change how things turned out?  Sorry I can’t elaborate on our individual stories, but I can say, that there were some of us who would have changed things.  But would we really?? 

I find it is much easier to say that I would change the out come of my life so far.  After all, I just typed it, so technically I said it in my mind; but would I really change things?  I pose the question, because once I said it, and once I thought about it, I don’t really think I would. 

I find Randy Pausch’s quote “We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand.” inspiring, honest, and true.   We are dealt the cards we are meant to deal with.  I was dealt a huge hand of ADHD.  Those are the cards I am dealing with.  Now, how I handle those cards is up to me; just as my children know that how they handle it is up to them.  (sometimes ~ usually I have the jokers for their hands) 

So, in the end, I don’t think I would change the cards I have been dealt, they have made me who I am.  And who I am is someone who needs a nap!!!!!!   

NAMASTE!!

Can’t wait for summer!!! Thanks to the cat for the silence.

There is a mouse in my house.  Hate to Dr Seuss it, but there is!  And this mouse is loud!  The noise is coming from the kitchen.  I have no idea where the mouse is.  I swear I have stopped working and gone in there several times all to no avail.  I can’t find where the little SH$# is hiding!  Which actually isn’t all that bad…

The distraction is enough to make me crazy.  Especially when I stop working, go in the kitchen, look up and down, can’t find a thing, then go back to my office to work.   It is quiet for a few minutes, then a crackle noise.  Loud enough to make me stop and listen.  (and question my sanity) 

Finally, I have had enough!  I take a little walk to the barn, and grab my best barn cat.  This cat is a mouse killing machine!!!!  I brought her up to the house, and she went right for the kitchen.  And mind you, I am highly allergic to cats!  When I was tested, I came out a  4+++ on the scale.  That’s gotta clue you into how much this mouse was aggravating me. 

Distractions aren’t good for us adders.  It is too easy for us to loose our train of thought, forget where we were and what we were doing, and space off something important all because of a distraction.  The mouse making noise prevented me from working for about an hour.  After I had gone and looked for it so many times, I had finally determined that I was not going to let it bother me anymore.  I was just going to work through it and set some traps tonight.  

Yeah right!  Not this add mind.  This add mind was working and coming up with a solution at the same time.  Multitasking I think it is called.  But can we really do two things at once?  Yes, but not and be “present” to both things.  Sure I was working, but my mind was really working on how to silence that mouse.  That one little mouse was enough to make me crazy.  Yes we adders are easily distracted. 

I took a shot of benedryl, and the cat is still hunting in the kitchen.  I guess I should have prefaced this whole blog with we live on a ranch/farm in the middle of corn fields.  Mice are going to get into my house no matter what I do to prevent them.  Believe me, I have tried everything.  In my mind, mice in your house is so not cool.  I hate them.  But after moving to the country, I resolved that it is going to happen, and I will deal with whatever. 

Funny story about mice from my son.  My mother is an old farm girl, and she and her aunt told me to get poison because that is the only thing that will get them in the country.  They said that there are too many, and there isn’t enough places for them to go since there aren’t any other house for miles.  So, I did what they suggested.  I never balk as the wisdom of the elders.  They have most likely been through it all already, so why re invent the wheel when simply asking them takes so little time and effort. 

Anyway, I sort of wasn’t prepared for the consequence of my actions.  I guess I never thought about what happened after the mice ate the poison.  I think in my mind, I was thinking that they were going outside to die; but they didn’t…..  And I really didn’t want to know just how many mice were gallivanting around my house when I wasn’t looking…but I do… 

And for the funny part of the whole mouse story, my son (7 years) apparently saw a dead mouse in my bedroom and didn’t tell me about it.  I freaked of course when I saw it, and then he told me that it had been there for a few nights and he thought it would be funny to scare me.  Isn’t he sweet?!?!?    I just love that little guy!!…..!!~   

YEAH, I wouldn’t trade him for the world!!

NAMASTE!! 

Third graders plot to kill their teacher????? I have to VENT!!!

What is happening in the world when third graders are plotting to kill their teacher.  My day started with reading a news article on Fox News about “Special Education” children plotting to kill their teacher.  Apparently they brought a broken knife, hand cuffs, and duct tape to school to get the job done.   Damn, those Georgia kids are rough! 

It’s bad enough for something like this to happen, but why do we have to point out that the children are “special education” children.  What does that have to do with anything?  Does that make the plot especially interesting?  Does that make what they did expected?  Does it make what they did so outrageous that we should not let those “special” kids in our regular schools??? 

Yes, I am sort of upset after reading the article.  According to Fox News ~ “The alleged target is a veteran educator who teaches third-grade students with a range of learning disabilities, including attention deficit disorder, delayed development and hyperactivity, friends and parents said.”   So, again, why is that important to know?  Are we saying that “normal” or “regular” third graders would never had done something so heinous?  It’s those damn hyperactive kids causing the trouble.  They should be banned!!  After all, why should all the “normal” kids have to be subjected to their antics!  They are obviously a bad influence on the “regular” kids. 

WHATEVER!!!  What I find quite disturbing is that any third graders would come up with something like this.  I would have to say that the young girl who hatched the plot as revenge (according to the article ~ http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,344369,00.html)  apparently has some issues to resolve, but she could have been any number of kids.  Not just one of those special education kids.

The same thing happened last December with the Omaha, NE mall shooting.  As more and more details came out about that boy (teenager) it was discovered that he had ADHD and did not have a great family upbringing.  Why again do we need to point out that he had ADHD.  It certainly doesn’t change what happened.  The grieving families aren’t going to be impacted one way or the other by the news.  I cringed then as I heard news accounts about the “monster” with ADHD. 

I believe that we need to be very careful when labeling people.  Yes this kid had ADHD, but he also had brown eyes &  brown hair and he worked at a McDonald’s.   Again, doesn’t have anything to do with the crime he committed.  Isn’t going to bring back any of the 9 people he killed.  And not all of the sensationalist killers of the recent past have had ADHD. 

I think that there is something more neurologically off balance with people who plot or carry out these sensationalist crimes.  There is something off with the way they are thinking.   And the third grader, how can we even expect to believe that this child knew what she was doing?  She is in third grade.  I can’t remember third grade myself, but I have a forth grader, and I know that there is some reality that she just hasn’t gotten yet. 

More and more news outlets are digging for dirt to bring the “news” to the rest of the world.  Personally, I think the 1950’s approach of not telling the whole truth was much better for society.  Giving people more information than is truly necessary doesn’t accomplish anything positive.  It certainly doesn’t change anything either….or does it….maybe it does after all…….maybe it just might change people’s attitudes…. 

The Law of Attraction??

While thinking about how much my ADD impacts my children, I may have inadvertently caused the lateness of our day this morning.  It’s sort of funny how I was just talking about waking up late and yelling and rushing my kids to get them off to school, and this morning was an exact replica of that thought. 

For whatever reason, I couldn’t sleep last night.  I sometimes find that the Ritilan keeps me up late, as it does with the kids.  They both have scripts to help them get to sleep at night.  I have thought about sleeping pills, but I figure I will wait until it really becomes a problem.  If it does…  Maybe I can utilize the law of attraction to help myself sleep better.  If it worked in making us all late this morning, why wouldn’t it work in helping us sleep better. 

I remember watching the Secret and thinking that I definitely believe that it works.  I remember talking to a friend about how I had many years ago started a notebook of the things I wanted to have in my life.  I remember cutting out pictures of the things I wanted and glueing them to the pages of the notebook.  It is amazing when I see that notebook and the pictures in it today.  The items I wanted are all things that I have or have had. 

Not just material items either, marriage, kids, pets, etc…  Of course my little red jeep!  (I so love my jeep!!)  I can’t believe how I had this notebook 15 years earlier and the things in it have all come true.  That is truly the law of attraction in action.  I am a true believer because I have witnessed it work first hand. 

Since I was reminded when watching the secret about the law of attraction, I have worked with my children on visualization and keeping their thoughts positive and well meaning.  It is pretty difficult when working with ADD/ADHD children to help them control the impulsiveness of their thoughts.  My daughter is mostly good at correcting her thoughts when they get negative, but my son is another story!

He is constantly talking about hitting someone if they try to hurt him.  As a mother, I am just not sure what to do with that.  My natural instinct is to tell him that hitting is never an answer, but then I am met with his father’s voice of he is a BOY, and you need to let him be a boy! 

I guess I do need to let him be a boy, but I still believe that violence isn’t the answer.  I tell him that, but it is funny to hear him consistently come back with situations that may just constitute his need to hit someone.  When he says that someone is beating up his sister, then can he hit them, I have to say YEAH, and hit him once for me!!!!!  That is so not Zen, but how could I let him think that he should do nothing?   I just hope that he is never in the situation, but then again, boys will be boys. 

My daughter asked if she could get into karate, so I figure that I will get them both into it and then they will be better informed about physical violence.  I would rather see them have the ability to defend themselves than allow themselves to be bullied.  I suspect that if my son is feeling the need to protect his sister and himself than it is for a reason, so it’s better to have them learn the correct way to go about it. 

A part of me wants to make up another notebook and find pictures of things that I want for the future.  I also want to do the same with my kids.  I think it would be interesting to test the theory out again.  After all, it is kind of freaky to have done something 15 years ago, forgotten about it, and then find that everything came out as it was documented.  Who would have thought that would happen?   Hmmm, probably anyone involved with the law of attraction. 

 Namaste!

April Fools! They are so cute when they try to get you!!

Today is April Fools Day.  I always wondered just where did this day come from and why?   My children spent the morning telling me that ghosts were behind me, they really didn’t have school today, and there were snakes in the bath tub.   Of course the snake one almost got me, after all living in the country, anything is possible!!   But I thought it was so cute how they tried.   At the same time, I felt sorry for their teachers.  I can’t imagine listening to the non stop “April Fools” jokes all day. 

I have a high degree of respect for teachers.  They have such an impact on these kids.  I often wonder if they fall into the attitudes of so many other jobs.  Like do they say, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow?  Or look at the clock all day calculating how long until they get to go home?  I have to think they probably do, even though I don’t want them to think that way. 

I want teachers to want to be there teaching these kids.  I want teachers to enjoy coming to work and not look at the clock once while they are there to calculate their off time.  I want them to love my kids as much as I do.  (Yes, unrealistic as it is, I still want it!)  I want them to be positive all the time and never make kids feel bad.  (unless they deserve it) 

I went to Catholic school when I was young, and I still remember being afraid of the nuns wearing the “black costumes”.  (Yes I know that ages me!!)  They were scary!  I remember getting the ruler on the hand slap in second grade, couldn’t even tell you what I did to get that.  The nuns were tough!  You didn’t mess with them, most of the time, you kept your head down for fear of them sighting you.   My kids would get the crap beat out of them!!!!!  The nuns would have a heyday!

I sometimes wonder if my kids have it harder with an ADD mom.  One one hand, I would be the first to break the rules.  Like letting my daughter use a calculator for her math homework.  Is that bad?  In my mind, I think that as long as she knows how to do it, what’s the difference?  If there are tools to help us get the job done, then why can’t children use them too?  But on the other hand, I also understand how their little minds work.  So when they act out and use the “my medicine wore off” excuse, I totally bust them and don’t let them off the hook.   I have to remind them that I have ADD too, and that doesn’t give me the ”free pass” to break the law!  (That one did come back to haunt me when I got a speeding ticket with them in the car!)   

Then there are days where my disorganization is a distraction to them.  Like when I get up late (which happens more often than I care to admit!) and we have to rush to get ready for the bus.  They often go on tirades about how much they hate me, and how much I don’t love them cause I am yelling at them to hurry up.  And I know that I shouldn’t yell at them cause it just elevates the situation, but crap before coffee ~ anything goes!!   

So maybe having an ADD mom, they live April Fools every day and they don’t even know it!   I think when they get home today and start in with their jokes, I am going to smile and think about how the joke is actually on them!   Out of all the mothers in the world, they had to get me!!!  Poor little sh#%s!

APRIL FOOLS!!!! 

Namaste!